My belief in god

I still don't think god is a person, but I do believe that if you thank god for being part of this worl, and showing repect and love to one another, that eventually good things start happening back.
I really. Was at this point that I would laugh whenever I prayed because it just seemed absolutly obsurd that I was putting faith into some made up creature and it didn't matter that I truly believed in god or not. So one day I just asked for some sort of proof that god even existed and later that day, we stopped at a gas station to buy a lottery ticket (because you can't win if you don't play) and this guy approaced jarrod outside the car and asked if could fill up our nearly empty tank with gas. Jarrod said sure whatever... the guy had trouble with his credit card, making the whole effort seem almost not worth the trouble, I started to doubt this guy even had money to pay for a tank of gas for us.. but sure enough.  His card was read and he filled it up. He told jarrod that god told him to help us, to fill up our tank. Boy we sure needed that! I sure needed that. I took it right there that god indeed did exist somehow and that things would probably start to get better eventually. I wpuld pray for go to help me by putting someone out there to help me, be exactly what I need. Someone who is kind hearted, a bad ass, charming and who wants to be. A father. Sure as shit Ryan, my first boyfriend ever sends me a message... and all I can think is, man I sure would like to be your wife, i'd actually love it and be proud to call him such. He seems to love me as much asi love him. I can't wait to see him again, to be held in someone's arms who actually want to be with me. To be in the arms of someone who is turned on by me seems so tempting and wonderful that I can't resist talking or bragging that I am about to have. The most amazing man enter my life, come into my life at the absolute. Best time of my life, and offer me complete rescuing of my sanity. Lol.
Plain and simple, my prayers seem to have been answered. Thank you god for whispering into our ears what to say to each other!

Never before had I ever thought of thanking god for all the shitty times in my life because with out those shitty experiences, those low points in my happiness, I would never have built the gage of happiness within myself. To know exactly what you want in life and what types of people, the sort of fun activities you do when your not busy working and making money... to understand how you want to live each day.. those experiences are what was created out of the worst